She could shift between forms quite easily, though her fire control was less than exemplary. Whereas our other characters (Aelin and Rowan, Yrene and Chaol, Elide and Lorcan, etc) are falling in love hard and fast, Manon and Dorian arent there yet. Kashin and his forces arrives. I like to know how we got from point A to point 130982098438 in the case of ToG series. They continue in this manner, gaining information from several other Fae commanders as well, but they are receiving conflicting reports of Maeve's location, frustrating them. Yrene Towersnotices Aelin, although she does not know her by name. Yet they soon realize that the many allies they've gathered to battle Erawan's hordes might not be enough to save them. Her ancestor, Rhiannon Crochan, helped Mala make the original Lock, so a witchs power seems a vital element. Gavin reveals it to be in Morath, and says that Damaris can guide him. With help from Nox Owen, revealed to be a rebel even during the King's Champion Tournament, the Lords and their men are drugged to sleep and awaken to find the army gone. Instead, she uses that power to stop a giant tidal wave from destroying Anielle. Everyone begins working to repair. Also, another one of the best moments was when Rowan names her Fireheart, unaware that Aelins mother called her that too. Also, this battle brings back my favourite line in the TOG series: Hers was not a story of darkness. A reminder for us all. 4) And she was not done yet. Ive had this quotation as a note on my laptop since I first read it. Dorian, not Aelin, kills his fatherDorian, whod been possessed by a Valg and forced to do unspeakable things; whod watched his father order his lover murdered. Aelin gives away her money, and they plan to leave to the Southern continent when they go through a shortage of money. Aelin trained at the Assassins' Keep in Rifthold, and it was there that she spent the majority of her life following the deaths of her parents. The only goodbye moment I do need to talk about is our OT3s goodbye. May I add one of my favorite lines from Dorian in this book: World walker no longer That was powerful AF!! When Aelin proves unresponsive, Maeve mentions that a Valg collar has been found and she is going to retrieve it for Aelin. Maeve messes with all their minds, showing them horrible events. I would be a liar if I said that I did not enjoy this book at all. Cool! Sorry, but thats the truth. just a small amount of pages that I already spoiled for myself left): I was just wondering whether its normal or not to feel this very large emptiness in yourself, but a heaviness on your chest. Aelin and Dorian's magic is being drained away. As a result, the Wyrdkey opened a door to another realm, from which Deanna was watching Erilea. While some people expected her to marry Aedion Ashryver, her cousin and confidante, to solidify the family's claim to the throne, Aelin found the idea laughable as she . or ask your favorite author a question with Thank you, Sarah J. Maas. Rhysand slows her fall down and she returns safely to her world. Erawan leaves Maeve to go find Yrene. Rowan has been so worried about her and what shes thinking, and this is her way of telling him that she still loves him. Are they from the same place? Winter has fallen, and Aedion is worried about the foreign armies, who have no experience with cold weather. Aelin suggests that the assassins poison him before he leaks any information to the authorities, as per protocol, but Sam expresses horror to this proposal. And she would not be afraid. , The heart hed offered and had been left to drop on the wooden planks of the river docks. In Orynth, Aedion and his forces set a trap for Morath's fleet and manage to destroy two of the three witch towers, crippling the third. She saves them all. When she cares for someone, she cares for them deeply and has experienced enough loss in her life to never want to feel it again. Your email address will not be published. Her mother's dearest friend, Lady Marion Lochan, sacrificed herself to allow Aelin to escape and survive the massacre of her family. What are you hoping to see in the final book? Ansel gets mad at Celaena for almost kissing Ilias, and they get in a fight. Cause they believed shed come and help them with her fire bringer powers??? Sometimes I get distracted by details, and its driving me slightly bananas that we dont actually know where the third Wyrdkey is. Rolfe arrives and demands that Aelin remove herself from his chair. And I just hope that shell go on to live with love because of them. The entirety of Throne of Glass up throughTower of Dawn is discussed below, so enter here only ye who have read the books. Aelin enters Orynth in triumph. Molly is a proud Canadian who is currently attending university in Scotland. Morath's soldiers finally reach them. She has done more than enough. Aelin Galathynius's journey from slave to king's assassin to the queen of a once-great kingdom reaches its heart-rending finale as war . Dorian receives confirmation from a dead Kaltain Rompier that the third Wyrdkey is in Morath. Not anymore. The name 'Aelin' might be derived from the Turkish name 'Aylin', which means 'of the moon', which is referenced in, Aelin could also be derived from the Sindarin Language from the Tolkien works (which. So next lets count, in no particular order, the top ten quotations of the series! After the deaths of her parents and Orlon, her uncle and King of Terrasen, she became the sole survivor of Terrasen's royal family. 5) The callback to it is not the end was beautiful. Note: Im going to include some rankings and top ten lists and other fun things at the end of this post, so thats waiting at the bottom! You could do anything, if only you dared. , For the city that had offered her joy and pain, for the city that had given her music, Aelin kept the fire burning. , She was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius. I am forever grateful. It was released on October 23, 2018. So we need to talk about that scene with Aelin by the river. Aelin had to lose her infinite fire power. Aelin feels things both strongly and deeply. I love all the fan art you included as well. It is present tense. While she is often teasing, witty, and carefree when she is happy, Aelin's most immediate reaction when angry or sad is to channel her darker emotions into a barely-contained rage or killing calm. To honour them. Maas ultimately designed Aelin as a highly capable character whose talents also form a basis for numerous faults. What is it about the witches that would make a Valg prince cringe? So much goes down here, so lets go through some of the highlights: 1) The King has no name. Aware that yielding to Maeve will doom those she loves keeps her from breaking, though her resolve begins to unravel with each passing day. The Valg forces drop dead upon Erawan and Maeve's deaths. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Everyone Aelin loves has been taken from her. There was still beauty in this world. Assuming Ly survives, I hope she does remember. Meanwhile, in Doranelle, Aelin feels her mother is with her, telling her to be brave and not to yield. I dont think the cadrethe good members of itall make it out of this battle. They eventually reach the coast through the caves. The Goddess's Moon-Fire was described as being the cold white light of the stars, light that was stolen from them, which would be so cold that it would burn. Devastating. The Pirate Lord argues that the tattoos would not be spotted since there are no streetlights at the docks, but the incident occurred during a full moon. The Crochans do not trust Manon and her coven, but she gains their support after killing two Ironteeth scouts; Dorian realizes she deliberately attracted the scouts. But she d. She does not lose all of her power, but she does lose a great amount of it. What! When preparing for an inevitable encounter with either Maeve's or Erawan's forces as she sailed for the Stone Marshes, Aelin had hovered over her magic for days - still no burnout. Maeve and Erawan arrive with the six kharankui hybrids. Speaking of our favorite terrible fake-Fae what is it she wants? And what role will Manon play in this? I understand that they betrayed her, but its not clear. Chaol says that when she does he will go with her. I still stare at it on my bookshelf and think well I could just read it again but Im trying to be strong. Please no spoilers forKingdom of Ash in the comments! When do we get to see it, besides the creepy marshes and the distant towns that Maeve set aflame? I have a strange sympathy for the older witches, cruel as they are; like most of the characters in this series, theyre the product of war and conflict, and scraping out a defensive position in a world that doesnt want them is somewhat understandable from a certain point of view. But it makes no difference if my name's Celaena or Lillian or Bitch, because I'd still beat you, no matter what you call me. Aelin gets through to Fenrys using a code they established during her months of torture. Bummer. She is no longer Queen of Doranelle. Maeve, Aelin's aunt, foresaw that Aelin could get the Wyrdkeys and has manipulated the girl her entire life. The moment that Aelin goes off the boat to find rings is so sweet. Shes Terrasen, injured but strong, clever and cunning and kind. Just reliving all these moments and connections between books allowed me to say goodbye for now. I just dont want this series to end. What book does Celaena lose virginity? The army is running out of supplies and weapons. Being a queen at war means leading through grief and horror; it means putting everything else aside and keeping going. That is fantastic. They have to grow as people outside of the relationship first. Without another word, Aelin boards the ship to the Red Desert. Maas has stated that the latter's "arrogance and fierceness made me want to write about a woman like herabout a woman who never once said sorry for being talented and determined and utterly in love with herself." Aelin will retain her full magic, her full Fae gifts, her shifting abilities, and the full extended life of the Fae, due to her great-grandmother's blood flowing through her veins. Nesryn admitted she would have found Aelin earlier if her hair appeared golden. But one thing I found confusing.. what exactly did Aelin do to the gods? She battles against Iskra Yellowlegs and almost dies but is saved by Petrah. Maeve fights Aelin at the southern gate. Well I started thinking about how aelin hasn't settled yet, meaning that when she settles there's a chance that she can get her powers back!!!! After defeating Aelin, Maeve has her brutally whipped. In a city near Doranelle, Elide, Gavriel, Rowan and Lorcan find one of Maeve's commanders and Rowan brutally tortures him for information. How is that possible?!! The Ashryvers are the royal family of the kingdom of Wendlyn, the Whitethorns seem to be the royal family from the kingdom of Doranelle. Kingdom of Ash contains 121 chapters, two prologues and an epilogue. While some people expected her to marry Aedion Ashryver, her cousin and confidante, to solidify the family's claim to the throne, Aelin found the idea laughable, outrageous, and disgusting, because after all, she considered Aedion to be her brother, and Aedion felt the same. Welcome back. The ornate ruby brooch that Aelin includes in her money pouch to. The King cemented his rule over Erilea by promoting across the country the deaths of the Terrasen nobility, all the while unaware of the survival of Aelin. Lysandra lost her family when her mother threw her out; she lost her original face when the king banished magic; she lost her love when Arobynn had him murdered. Hell. Our Privacy Notice has been updated to explain how we use cookies, which you accept by continuing to use this website. Aelin and Chaol reunite, and Aelin sees Yrene for the first time in three years. Who Did Aelin Sleep With? It burns her and Aelin beheads her, killing her. She discovers that her magic is as great as Mala Fire-Bringer's - due to being her heir and descendant. One night, the King of Adarlan decided to overthrow one of his major political opponents, the royal family of Terrasen, and to conquer their country for his own. She is now an immortal Fae, her mortality burned away. So Sarah said that The world of Throne of Glass will be very much narrated/Write?? [Total: 0 Average: 0] Meaning Sam was born right when Arobynn was gaining his power and had enough money to hire a courtesan. This magic was able to easily burn through Anti-Magic physical properties, as evident when Deanna burned through the iron encasing Aelin's hand. Aelin's Fae heritage manifested itself at an early age. Years in the making, Sarah J. Maas's #1 New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass series draws to an epic, unforgettable conclusion. Initially, Rolfe plans to provide two separate rooms for them, but Aelin insists that only one room is necessary. So, if you have read like once sentence of any other post in this series, you know I have an unhealthy love for Chaol Westfall. Because when you settle you can have a huge change in your magic. He could do nothing less. She refuses to reveal any information about Terrasen and the Wyrdkeys. Aelin snaps at Rolfe to mind his own business. Aelin is very passionate about many things, and especially so with the people she loves. It is like Maeve is stripping her of her history, all her struggles meaning nothing. I dont like reading without knowing the ending because I like to know if Im going to cry when I reach it. How do you find yourself after decades of fear and stress and strain? Dorian's father appears and offers to forge the Lock himself; because Erawan took his name, he is essentially Nameless as well. And what about Mora?) Eyllwe is still fighting against Morath's army. Sarah J. Maas said that Aelin's favorite book genre is romance. He demands the Sword of Orynth back. She was restyled as Celaena Sardothien to hide her true identity. 3) I almost threw my book across the room when the gods were like uhh were not taking Erawan. Celaena beats Ansel, of course, and she saves everyone. Now, not to be rude, but this seemed like the stupidest time to make this decision. She was not fooled by his disguise. I might just be yelling into the void of the internet, but its nice to think that someone is out there listening. She had to make choices, and delegations, at the end of Empire of Storms.But she does all her secret plotting out of a desire to be in controlin . For more information, please see our Kingdom of Ash was released in four special editions, each with their own exclusive content. must fight. Her identity as Celaena Sardothien was so carefully protected that very few people had ever seen what she actually looked like; when meeting clients, she always wore a mask, gloves, and black clothing, which revealed only her gender. They have to reappear, right?). The torture scenes do not get any easier the second time around. Manon is still not considered a leader by the Crochans. Aelin slips Athril's ring, a gift from Silba, onto Maeve's finger. TOWERS. He falls asleep, and Aelin listens to his breathing as she keeps watch. But now that has changed. 7) Feyre and Rhys make an appearance! You can ask this question at the end of most fantasy series, but its particularly relevant here for two key reasons: One, our heroine cannot compartmentalize. In her Fae form, she has pointed ears and elongated canines. Every single time. This is an understandable human traitenduring the death of a loved one is devastatingbut shes also a queen, and shehas to delegate, and delegating means putting people at risk. *Wipes tears* First, as always, three of my favourite quotations from this book that didnt make it into the discussion: Ive kept it no secret that Crown of Midnight is my favourite TOG book, but here is my ranking of all of them, from favourite to least favourite: Some controversial choices, I know! They are losing. You dont really notice first time around because, you know, battle, but its this subtle curve weve been following for a while. Right after she finds out that Maeve is valg, she runs to the river, and Rowan follows her. Please tell her all your theories on Twitter! Kingdom of Ash is where our story ends, but these characters have rich futures ahead of them, you can tell. She is largely characterized as skilled, arrogant, and witty. In Heir of Fire, during the Battle of Mistward, while fighting Valg princes, she discovers what seems to be the bottom of her chamber of magic. A mate and husband who loved her. Kingdom of Ash - Sarah J. Maas 2018-10-23 Together they will rise. It is split into two parts, Armies & Allies and Gods & Gates. It either weakens or becomes stronger. Erawan plans to bring his brothers back. They estimate four days until they are destroyed. People believe in them. Afterwards, Yrene uses her healing to remove Valg from their hosts. As I rushed through the pages, desperate to continue the story, I also found myself wishing I could slow it down. Thank you for answering, I need to know before continuing the series. Its a nice framework that keeps us on track with his journey, as we see him decide that Adarlan is worth saving, and that yes, he is human. Mala gives Aelin a bit of her magic back, to say thank you for trying to save her daughter. She proposes because she thinks it will help them both politically, and it is stated that she clearly doesnt really want to do this (at this point). As a child, Aelin also encountered Dorian Havilliard while his parents were on a state visit to Terrasen. The gods appear. When he questions her about her past, Aelin shoots back a gibe about the map tattoo, implying Rolfe did not work for his position as she did for hers. Refresh and try again. She is injured by an ilken and the army is forced to retreat after Ironteeth witches arrive with witch towers and destroy 4,000 of Aedion's soldiers. But what they find in a chest is not the Lock (which, it turns out, is the Eye of Elena) but a witch mirror. Now that the crew is (mostly) back together, its time to decide what happens with the Lock. The Kingsflame was blooming. Because Aelin brought prosperity, brought hope back to Terrasen. . This finality. I dont think I need to discuss them all. Maeve summons Aelin and Fenrys, where Aelin is forced to kneel on a shattered crown. I just remembered something more!!! She will not suddenly be herself again. It has to do with Damaris, which can tell if something is true or not, but the motif seeps into Dorians story, as he tries to determine Adarlans fate and his own. As the threads of fate weave together at last, all our heroesmust fight together,if they are to have a chance at a future. Like. Kingdom of Ash is the largest book in the Throne of Glass series containing 984 pages (including acknowledgments.). After killing three of the four men, Aelin allows a shaken but grateful Yrene to treat her wounds while the young woman shares her heart-wrenching story, revealing her past as a gifted healer. Her body also becomes taller and leaner in this form. He realizes Aelin is in Doranelle and determines that they need to lure Maeve away from the city long enough for them to rescue Aelin. Not getting to see Aelin go into battle with both her Assassin skills AND fire power was anticlimactic for me. (I'm not good in handling such surprises lol) I'm actually great at dealing spoilers lol. I did. While in Allsbrook, Aedion receives a letter from Kyllian, one of his Bane commanders, telling him that Morath's troops have made landfall in a city called Eldrys and destroyed it. In interviews preceding the series' release, Maas noted her heroine's issues with "impatience" and "vanity". When she was young, she was infatuated with. Will the bond between Chaol and Yrene mean they both are sacrificed in order to destroy one of the biggest Valg threats? The barmaid tries to offer Aelin something to treat the injuries on her face, but Aelin refuses, saying that they are meant to be a reminder for herself. In this part, she starts developing a strong relationship with Sam, and in the end, she frees herself and Sam from the money she had received for saving the Mute Master. Molly Templeton is ready. She was able to set Doranelle's rivers steaming, and turn a massive wave of deadly glass shards into an extensive glass wall - to save the citizens of Rifthold. In that mirror, Aelin and Manon learn Elenas story and discover that Aelin will need to forget a new Lock. When everything is darkwhen Gavriel has sacrificed himself, when. Aelin learns of the siege in Orynth from Vernon Lochan, who is discovered wandering the mountains. And thank you, if youve been reading these posts. The whole Chaol/Aelin/Yrene reunion was amazing. She initially overwhelms them all since Aelin has no magic. Thank you, Chaol. 8) A firebringer no longer. Manage all your favorite fandoms in one place! for the gods to not do any fucking thing? They receive a message from Lord Darrow requesting their presence the next day. Same. And in a way, she actually is. Though this reread has been slow, I still cant believe its over. With her ship scheduled to depart in the morning, Aelin feels a tug of fate toward the healer and leaves her money and a ruby brooch in the hopes that Yrene can finally afford to travel to the southern continent to train as a healer. He discovers that the Ironteeth horde is gone; only Petrah Blueblood and 300 Ironteeth remain. Would she just have wanted his healing giftsand his ringas a defense? Manon Blackbeak, we know now, is no mere Ironteeth; shes the heir of the Crochan Kingdom as well. In an interview with Sarah J. Maas, Maas stated that in the present time, Aelin would be a fan of the Outlander Series. Hanging in the balance is any hope of salvationand a better world. Aelin is traumatized by her months in Maeve's captivity and has a slight breakdown while Rowan removes her chains and mask; he sees that her skin has been completely replaced, removing her scars and tattoos. Sorry im at the bit of kingdom of ash where aelin is forging the lock (i have not finished the book yet) but does anyone else hate how aelin wasted all her power to forge the lock and ut was so futile?? Learn how your comment data is processed. It's a true, holy crap this sucks everyone is going to die because of me, loss. 11, The Assassin's Blade: The Assassin and the Desert by Sarah J. Maas, pg. What did u do during that war that u didnt ever heard of it??? The Mute Master isnt dead yet, and Celaena finds out Ansel has betrayed them all and has been working with Lord Berick because he promised her an army to take back Briarcliff. Its mentioned that when Adarlan invaded Terrasen they went and killed everyone at the magic school and I had no idea that existed. Arobynn Hamel, King of the Assassins, was led by Elena in a trance and found Aelin half frozen to death on the banks of the Florine River. Despite undergoing horrible experiences Aelin fights back, cracking the iron box enough for Rowan to feel her presence through their mating bond. These books have some striking covers, so next I decided to rank those as well! The party kills five and capture one to interrogate for information. Not getting to experience the fear from Erawan and Maeve when they behold Aelin's power was such a let down. And these posts have hyped me up for each book again and again. It was released on October 23, 2018. and our If not snuggled up with a book, Molly can usually be found tapping at the dance studio, or writing yet another essay. Empire of Storms: From the # 1 Sunday Times best-selling author of A Court of Thorns and Roses (Throne of Glass): 5 : Maas, Sarah J.: Amazon.com.tr: Kitap And when they are saying goodbye, they know that something is ending here too. To withdraw your consent, see Your Choices. They kiss and return to the castle, where Celaena loses her virginity to Chaol. You can pose questions to the Goodreads community with His search begins. After spending two days waiting for her ship to the Red Desert, she is in a combative mood and expresses some disappointment that no one has attempted to rob her. Stars could still glow, still burn bright, even buried under the earth., What if we go on, he said, only to more pain and despair? So their relationship, I think, will always be more about caring about each other, about partnership, than intense love. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. But she does all her secret plotting out of a desire to be in controlin control of the situation, so shes never seen to fail, but also in control of everyones fate. She just needs toplan everything herself. So much of this story depends on the actions of a beloved princess of Eyllwe who sacrificed herself to set things in motion. Arobynn announces that Gregori's mission has failed, resulting in his capture and incarceration in the castle dungeons. Meaning aelin might still get huge fire powers again, if when she settles her magic becomes . She asks for their help and leaves. Aelin watches Yrene move about the White Pig, admiring her deft avoidance of the grasps of handsy customers. Aedion is injured in the ensuing battle. She has known loss before, but never to this extent, never when her heart was open, when she could really be hurt. Darrow strips Aedion of his rank and threatens to execute Lysandra if she shifts into Aelin again. A client offers them a huge sum of money for killing Ioan Jayne, the crimelord of Rifthold, and his second Farran. On: July 7, 2022. He blocks her ability to make portals and leaves with all three Wyrdkeys, destroying Morath behind him. After reading the entire Throne of Glass series in six weeks, I am extremely ready forKingdom of Ashmaybe more ready than I can remember being for the last book in a series, ever. 112, https://www.facebook.com/theworldofsarahjmaas/photos/a.243297459112797/1192314324211101/. Aelin tries to make a deal with them; take Erawan away and let Elena have peace. It will become a type of love, a strong one, but neither of them are the romantic type. It is epic and powerful and heartfelt and meaningful and just lovely all around. Thank you for these. When Yrene doesn't answer, Aelin asks how long it has been since her mother died and acknowledges the hardship of being a gifted healerespecially one from Fenharrowduring that time, before inquiring what she would do if she attended Torre Cesme. What is his deal? Its a hard moment, but necessary. I think its really important to note Aelins relationship with her fire. And that is a great line from Dorian! Aelin meets with Arobynn's inner circle of assassins late at night. In the mountains, Manon Blackbeak, her Thirteen and Dorian Havilliard continue their search for the Crochan Witches. Thank you for all youve done for me, Aelin says. This is because I enjoy the journey more than the end. When she forges the Lock later in the book, she loses her mortal body along with all but a single ember of fire magic, gifted to her by Mala Fire-Bringer as thanks for Aelin's attempt spare her daughter, Elena, and is left only with the drop of water passed down from her mother, as well as a fae body. Goldryn! Manon's grandmother flees on her wyvern. Once upon a time, in a land long since burned to ash, there lived a young princess who loved her kingdom .very much Aelin to Rowan in Heir of Fire. In the end, Aelin doesnt need to do everything herself. Aelin still hasn't used her power. Manon and the Thirteen meet with her and reveal that her grandmother, the Blackbeak Matron, plans to rule all the Ironteeth and disband the separate clans. This trio, this is where it all began. Empire of Storms Exclusive (Barnes & Noble), Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas: Chapter 55, pg 522, The Assassin's Blade: The Assassin and the Healer by Sarah J. Maas, pg. She bears the mark of the Nameless from her ancestor. Fenrys is saved by swearing the oath to Aelin. Privacy Policy. Aelin, Dorian, and Chaol are the only three characters to get a point of view in the first book and a main point of view in six books, while other characters' points of view were all added in the following books. But then she gets the message from her parents, the debt has been paid enough, Fireheart. She doesnt need to feel guilty. Aelin gruffly questions Yrene as to why she, the daughter of a healer, is in Innish working as a barmaid; she admonishes her for not pressing on and at least being penniless in Antica near Torre Cesme instead of miserable in Innish and criticizes her for allowing herself to waste away in the awful town for the sake of a clean conscience. And would she have taken Aelin to an isolated island if she knew? As in, those with magic dormant in their veins can use their power to generate wyrdmarks. She proceeded to convert all of Aelin's Fire Magic to Moon-Fire. Manon kills the Yellowlegs Matron and spares the Blueblood Matron, Petrah's mother. He stabs Maeve through the heart with Goldryn. When Aelin is looking through the Wyrdmark books for any help with the lock, she comes across a spell for opening portals to jump between places, not worlds. , Hi this is beautifully written and I am so thankful you made this! Sam replies that there were too many guards and that the retrieval could potentially lead the guards to the Assassins' Keep. Overall, a genius, genius scene. The royal line of Wendlyn seems well established already, since the Prince comes to aide after Aelin's letter. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But shes watched over by Annieth, whos described as the lady of wise things and slow deaths. And she will fight for her people, enslaved to a brutal king and awaiting their lost queen's triumphant return. While marching to Orynth, Aelin and Dorian reunite. But this is a potential wild card. This is the moment when you know it isnt going to be an easy fix. How do you teach yourself to love something that gave you so much pain?

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